At the entrance there’s an etching that reads “Non Omnis Moriar” which means “Not all of me will die” a fitting slogan that seemingly warns visitors of the poltergeist that calls Greyfriars Kirkland home.
This poltergeist was known in his human form as Lord Advocate, George Mackenzie, or as the locals called him “Bloody Mackenzie.” This dude was a brutal and vicious prison warden that got his jollies from torturing the over 400 inmates that he oversaw. Many of those inmates that died either by his hand or under his watch, were buried in the Black Mausoleum section of the Covenanter’s Prison. Mackenzie, when he bit it, was buried only yards away from the prison, which tied him to the grounds where he’d tormented so many.
Mackenzie’s ghost has the reputation of being malevolent and he’s know to attack visitors. Things had gotten so bad that the city council closed the cemetery to the public for a while. Yeah, that’s pretty serious right! Yep, try like over 400 reported cases of Mackenzie’s antics. These reports included cold spots, scratches, bruises, and even faintings, but, it hasn’t always been Mackenzie that haunted Kirkland. There have been tons of reports for centuries. Folks have reported seeing the shadowy figures of those that are buried there, and some have even heard their tormented wailing.
Mackenzie had basically been at peace for centuries but something disturbed him, and what ever it was pissed him the hell off.
The locals are still circulating this tale, and they all agree that this was the “something” that triggered Mackenzie to rise again.
So, it was storming one night and this vagrant decides to break the lock on the mausoleum gate and go inside to get out of the rain. He starts looking around at the surrounding coffins and out of either boredom or some macabre sense of curiosity, he breaks one open just to see what was inside. Like, what the hell would you think was in a coffin Asshat!
Well, this particular section of the vault that he was in, just happened to be where Mackenzie’s relatives were interred. So as you’ve already guessed, the shit hit the fan!
Immediately after he pries the lid from the bone box, this bum starts digging around in there. Well, when he did, the floor of the mausoleum collapsed and he falls into this deep, dark pit that was directly below the tomb. So what do you think was in that pit? I can tell you right now, it wasn’t a tupperware party. The pit was filled with the still decaying bodies of plague victims that had been thrown in and quickly sealed up to prevent the disease from spreading.
So this dude is wallowing around in corpse gunk, rotten meat and rancid human bones, Now it’s a party right! So the poor bastard manages to clamor his way out of the pit of people soup and he hauls ass out of the cemetery. He’s covered in funk and looks like who done it when he runs passed this dude that was walking his dog, scared the shit out of him.
Well after the pit was resealed, the mausoleum was fenced off and closed to the public, but that didn’t stop Mackenzie, he was still pissed so he starts showing his ass all over the cemetery.
As recently as 2000, there have been attempts to help him find peace. This one priest named Colin Grant was brought in to perform an exorcism on the cemetery. After several hours Grant admitted that he had become overwhelmed by the mounting numbers of tormented souls there. He ended the rite and left abruptly, shortly afterward, Grant passed away.
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